Peace of My Heart

An encouraging voice to drown out the noise

~Quit Blaming Your Upbringin’~ April 26, 2013

If I hear one more person say, “I can’t help it; it’s just the way I was raised” my next post will be from the confines of my holding cell at the county courthouse seeking bail money for “involuntary face smacking”!

I am well aware that your up-bringin’ plays a major role in what kind of adult you will become.  At some point though you have to stop riding on the coattails of mom and dad and be responsible for your own behavior.

So Mom was an alcoholic and was never there for you because she was face down in the pillow 18 hours a day.  Are you going to dive head first in the nearest bottle and drown your sorrows, setting the same,  shining example in front of your kids or are you going to learn from her mistakes?

Dad was a violent man who beat anything and everything that moved, his preferred punching bag was mom and sometimes you.  Is that going to be your excuse for wailing on your wife and kids every time you are disappointed in yourself or will you refuse to follow in dear ol’ dad’s footsteps?

What about the workaholic parents whose main purpose in life was to be the best at everything?  Everything except parenting that is.

I am not trying to make light of some very serious issues, I am simply trying to show that your past does not have to dictate your future.  As children we have no control over what we are exposed to but when we become adults we can choose how those events will shape us.  You can use the pain and emotion from your traumatic childhood experiences to push you to be a better human being or you can use them as your crutch to behave irresponsibly.

If you were not raised in a godly home and were subjected to these circumstances, you may not know how to be anything different than what was lived out in front of you.  The good news is that there is a self-help book for that.  It is known as the Holy Bible.  It is full of insight and wisdom on how you can be a better version of you.  Perhaps the best place to start would be approximately mid-way through the Bible at the book of Proverbs.  In the opening chapter, it tells us that “Fear of the Lord is our foundation of true knowledge.” (1:7)  Within it’s 31 chapters you will find practical instruction on real life issues such as day-to-day life, money matters, raising children and dealing with social matters.  Don’t stop there.  All throughout the Bible, answers that we all desperately need can be found in order to ensure that we do not simply squeak by in this life.  Promises of an abundant life over-flowing with the blessings and goodness that come by way of a relationship with the Creator can be found throughout the pages.

You see, no matter where you came from, you can always choose to change your final destination.

“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!”

(Deuteronomy 30:19 NLT)


“If you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve…But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.

(Joshua 24:15 NLT)blamegame


10 Responses to “~Quit Blaming Your Upbringin’~”

  1. Steve Rebus Says:

    Reblogged this on iChristian and commented:

  2. Oh So True. Great post, friend.

  3. Absolutely!
    Once we are on your own, we can be or do anything we want.
    If we are not happy with the way we have lived our lives, we have no one to blame but ourselves.

    • It’s one of the hardest things about being a grown-up, you can’t say “Mom & Dad made me do it” 😉

      • One time, this guy came up to me and said:
        “Can you help me? My girlfriend just broke up with me and I need another girlfriend as soon as possible!
        Of course, out of curiosity, I asked, “Why?”
        He replied–“Because I have to have someone to blame when things go wrong. What am I going to do now? If I don’t find another girlfriend soon and I do something stupid, I won’t have anyone to blame but myself. Hey! How about you? Would you like to go to dinner?”
        I laughed and said, “NO!”
        Oh my gosh. That was the strangest pickup line I had ever heard in my life. At least he was honest.

  4. What a great and insightful post! We don’t have much of a say in where we were born or what happened in our life, but we can choose every day to live our life differently with Christ!

  5. vonhonnauldt Says:

    It’s true. There’s no future in the past!

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