We recently completed a six week study of the Song of Solomon during our Sunday morning services. It was a powerful string of messages that elaborated on the many facets of the “Love Story,” as our pastor adequately titled the sermon series.
The final message was on lasting love. Isn’t that what we all desire, a love that withstands the test of time and all the junk that comes with it? Ladies, don’t you crave a relationship that uplifts, nourishes and endures? I would venture to say that not one of us would choose to be the other half of a twosome that tears down, destroys and falls to pieces at the first sign of fleeting bliss.
One little statement was like a clanging gong in my ears and that is what I would like to elaborate on today:
- Girls, don’t be a swinging door.
I have not shared very much of my past because it’s under the blood. However, I do feel that sharing of oneself opens the door for others to see what a hot mess you used to be before Jesus and see that there is hope when they look at where you are now, after Jesus.
So here goes nothing.
I was not a wholesome young lady. My daddy issues made me think that I had to do whatever, whenever to get and keep a man. After all, when your own daddy doesn’t want you, there must be something crazy wrong with you, right? I wasn’t a one-night-stand girl, but I did engage in premarital sex with men that I was involved with. It still hurts a bit to say that, but again, I’ve been forgiven and redeemed so go ahead and throw your stones if you must, they won’t break this glass.
The day that I finally realized I had it all wrong was when I became involved with my now husband. He opened my eyes to what it’s like to truly be loved and valued for who I was, not by what I could do for him. I no longer felt like I had to lower my standards and discard my morals in order to make him want to stay. It was a condition-less love, what I had always longed to find.
So when pastor shared this Scripture from Solomon, I teared up just a little:
“What will we do for our sister if someone asks to marry her? If she is a virgin, like a wall, we will protect her with a silver tower. But if she is promiscuous, like a swinging door, we will block her door with a cedar bar.” (8-9)
This is the young woman’s brothers speaking on her behalf, ready to protect their baby sister’s virtue, if you will. I couldn’t necessarily relate to the protective older brother, but it made me think of Jamie and how he was man enough to say, “I love you enough to stop you from compromising your worth to satisfy a lustful desire.” I really hit the jackpot with him.
The problem with today’s young people is the lack of people in their lives teaching them the importance of saving the intimacy for when they are mature, self-confident & married! When you allow yourself to become one with someone, you are giving away a part of yourself that you will never get back, not ever. Young people who are feeling the pressure of what this generation claims to be acceptable, take it from someone who did it all wrong, having sex or even other acts of intimacy before you are joined in marriage is damning. It will mess with your mind, your heart and your very soul for a long, long time. Girls, you are not junk, you deserve better than to be with one guy this week and cramming your tongue down the throat of another the next, (that’s right, I went there). If he won’t “date” you without that stipulation, trust me when I say, he isn’t worth the waste of your breath. Kids now are more sexually charged than I can even understand. Middle-schoolers are making out in school and having sex….OMG!!! I really could stroke out just typing those words. Why do you suppose it is that 12 & 13 year old BABIES are giving away something they should treasure? My theory, no one has told them what they are worth. Their self-esteem is based on the opinions of others as opposed to a confidence that comes from within. No one has made them feel that they are priceless and worthy and should be treated as such. So in closing, please, allow me….
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. There is no one who is just like you. You are so loved by the Lord, that He knows the number of hairs on your head and He sings over you while you sleep. You are more precious than the most valuable of jewels and your beauty is flawless. You possess a greatness that isn’t hinged on what someone else says of you. You are treasured, you are loved and you are priceless. Stop letting others decrease your worth by using you for what you have to offer them. Protect your moral integrity and respect yourself. Don’t lower your standards, set the bar high and the ones who deserve your attention will rise up to meet them. You are in fact royalty, don’t you think it’s about time you started acting like it?