Peace of My Heart

An encouraging voice to drown out the noise

~When Did RAPE Become Funny…And Other Middle School Shockers~ December 10, 2014

For the last week or so, our oldest daughter hasn’t really been herself. She’s been moody and quiet and has pretty much stayed holed up in her room. We’ve continually asked her what was up and were met with the typical teenager response,  “Nothing.” We figured it was the hormones raging again and tried to give her some space. That is until yesterday.

A little backstory about our girl for those who don’t have the pleasure of knowing her personally. She is madly in love with Jesus. She talks about her faith anywhere, anytime to anyone who will listen. We often joke and call her our little missionary who’s trying to save the world one middle-schooler at a time! It breaks her heart into pieces when her peers are struggling which has led to many talks about the struggles kids are facing and why sometimes there’s nothing we can do but pray for them.

Now, for the current horror that’s got this momma fit to be tied.

Autumn was terribly upset when she got in the car yesterday but refused to talk about it in front of her little sisters stating she couldn’t repeat a word that was said. I didn’t think too much of it knowing full well that kids curse in school. However, color me shocked when the story unraveled. Apparently the word “rape” is being used as an alternative to many other, far less offensive words. Some examples “OHHH, he raped you!” Someone bumps into you in the hall or gym class, so you scream “RAPE!” at the top of your lungs. They even have a storage room they refer to as “the rape closet.” Yesterday, a GIRL friend of Autumn’s used it this way, “Like how she raped you in your sleep.” (the ‘she’ mentioned being my girl)

Autumn was mortified and told her “friend” that what she said was inappropriate. This young lady told my daughter she needed to learn how to take a joke! Are you kidding me?! What in the world is funny about a word that implies sexual violence?! Before the arguments come, I am well aware that is has another meaning, that point is moot in my opinion so I won’t even argue it with you. These kids are so desensitized that they will throw around words that have horrific meanings like they are saying the word “hello.” When Autumn wouldn’t back down, this young lady proceeded to find backup to verbally attack my girl, accusing of her being a bully instead of a Christian. Perhaps what made this hurt the most…this little girl is a church-goer.

This conversation opened up to other topics as well. Kids with social media names like “MyHeartBelongsToJesus” are defending their beliefs with a string of curse words….uhm, no. Babies are having babies. Young ladies are cutting their beautiful bodies and talking about it over lunch. Serious issues….casual conversations. Wow.

I am bringing this up, not to be a gossip, but to open the eyes of parents who may not have a clue that their kids are using these phrases so flippantly. But maybe they don’t realize the horror of rape. Maybe they haven’t considered that a classmate within earshot has actually experienced the word and their casual use of the expression makes them feel that much more ashamed and isolated.

My advice, be proactive.

“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Prov 22:6 ESV)

After talking with Autumn, I went into the boys room to discus it with them. Peyton said, “Why are yelling at us?” Oops, I was pretty upset when I approached them. “I just want you boys to know how I feel about this that way you won’t inadvertently repeat a phrase your friends use that is highly offensive and claim you didn’t know.” taste words

“I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak” (Matt 12:36 ESV) 

Friends, we are living in a world that we must deal with these issues on a daily basis. It is our job to teach our kids the power of the words they speak. If we allow ourselves or our kids to become lax in our speech, we may find ourselves on a very slippery slope. It is true that “death and life are in the power of the tongue” and “what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this defiles a person.” (Prov 18:21 & Matt 15:18 ESV) So let us take care to guard our hearts, minds and mouths from what is detrimental to the soul.


13 Responses to “~When Did RAPE Become Funny…And Other Middle School Shockers~”

  1. Horrifying, isn’t it? I remember conversations with my daughter, whose faith is always been very strong, about the words used in conversations and the topics of those conversations by the ballet students she was in class with. I couldn’t believe how they were talking back then. It’s only getting worse. Kids just grow up today. Sadly, even Christian kids are just growing up and not being taught.

  2. blmaluso Says:

    Parents really need to take charge and know what is going on in their children’s day to day life (it is wonderful how you communicate with your children:-) and what is being taught and “inferred” in their schools.

    My sons are adults now – when I read some of what is happening in the schools, I don’t understand why EACH parent doesn’t sign a petition, or band together for a “meeting” with the principal and/or school board to challenge. Taxpayers are paying customers for their children’s education…and need to expect a superior product delivered.

    Thanks for sharing your experience. What an eye-opener.

    • Thank you for commenting, Bernadette. I have shared my concerns with administration about this issue. It’s hard to know where the kids are picking up the slang they throw around. I do feel it is more of the parents responsibility to correct this issue but wanted to make the school aware so that it doesn’t go unchecked.
      These are hard days to be raising children and I am so very thankful for the circle of friends ad family that encourages us as we go!

  3. bwcarey Says:

    fine post, children are to be reared, just like trees, well rooted, they endure and live well, amen

  4. Wow! I had no idea. That is horrifying to hear how they are using such a serious word. I don’t have kids so I wouldn’t be aware of it and I’m not around teenagers. Goodness!! I grieve for our nation and our kids and pray for a spirit of true repentance!!

  5. Hated to hit ‘like’. Very sad.

  6. Theresa Sorah Says:

    So very proud of my beautiful grand daughter. It takes great courage to speak against injustice. True loving friends will stand beside you. I hope you always follow your heart and values. Love you. Thanks for the blog Valerie

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s