~The Exasperated Sigh & An Eye Roll~ May 7, 2013

I currently have three pre-teens coexisting under one roof.  I know, I accept your condolences.  While most of the time they are pretty awesome kids, some days they can be a tad bit testy.  Yesterday morning, for example, I asked one of said three to take the dog out.  For the sake of sparing them humiliation, I will leave their name out…this time.  The poor dog was pacing anxiously at the front door and I had been hounding my kiddo for 5 minutes to take her out.  On the final request, I got the exasperated sigh accompanied by the eye roll that every child this age has perfected.  A little side note that you need to know about me, nothing irritates me more than having someone huff at me.  It invokes an instant reaction of wrath that no amount of back-pedaling can escape.  I believe my words were, “Huff at me one more time and find out what happens!”

Now isn’t that a nice way for us to start out our morning?!  Who is this hateful woman speaking on my behalf and where did that sweet-spirited, gentle momma go?

What is that one thing that gets under your skin more than anything else in this world?  What kind of crazed lunatic does it turn you into?

No matter what your pet peeve may be, you can confess it to God as a weakness and ask Him to help you overcome it.  If it is something that really grates on your nerves, as the huff & eye roll does mine, than don’t expect an instant cure of your short-coming.  As was evident from my reaction to the resistant dog-walker yesterday, I obviously am a work in progress.

A scripture that I try to recall to memory when one of my little angels has the audacity to cut their eyes at me is Proverbs 15:1:

“A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.”

(NLT)

You better believe that’s the truth!  When I snap at my child because they have irritated me, do you think they quickly correct their behavior and apologize for their rudeness?  Uh, no.  My short fuse only agitates them further, escalating the situation making both of us so on edge that we’re armed and ready for battle.  All I have done by acting in anger was set a poor example for my kids of how to handle emotions.

My child was wrong to show me disrespect through their actions, but I was equally wrong in my response.  What I should have done was explain, calmly, why I found their attitude unacceptable and given them a chance to apologize.  What could have been a teaching moment for my child, ended up being a rebuke aimed squarely in my direction.

This is not the kind of momma I desire to be.  I want my kids to see me respond with grace and humility, not unforgiveness & anger.

After all, it is the wise woman who builds her home while the foolish woman destroys it with her own two hands.  (paraphrase of Proverbs 14:1)

~Laugh it Up~ April 5, 2013

Well, I survived the week, but the last few days have been doozys in this house!  For starters, my youngest who is not quite 2 has perfected the art of escaping her crib.  Nap time is usually “me-time” for mommy but the other day it was spent running up and down the stairs with my cutie-pie in tow, attempting to make her stay put.  Who needs a tread-climber & a trainer when you have 12 steps and a disagreeable toddler?!  Naturally, my 5 year old followed suit and found great pleasure in watching me grow more and more aggravated.  After two grueling hours of this song and dance, I gave in.

For those of you whose children are perfect nappers or are just as pleasant without one, do not talk to me.  My girls are like something from a horror film when they don’t get their mid-day siesta.  I spent the rest of my day listening to constant bickering, whining and fit-throwing.  I had two very disgruntled shadows on my heels as I tried to prepare dinner, tidy the house and finish the laundry that was starting to resemble Mount Everest.

Finally dinner was served.  By the time I finished fixing the last kid plate, the oldest were licking their bowls right about the moment my butt hit the seat.  My daughter started out towards the kitchen with my favorite hand-painted bowl in her hand.  In slow motion fashion, my beautiful bowl went flying out of her hands and shattered against the hardwood floors sending shards of glass from one end of the room to the other.  My boy’s heads snapped in my direction.  I could read their eyes, they were thinking, “Momma is going to kill her!”  I just stared blankly at my girl who resembled a deer caught in the headlights.  No one uttered a word.  As I deliberately slowed my breathing, two phrases played on repeat inside my head, “It was an accident.  Don’t yell at her.  It was an accident. DON’T YELL AT HER!”  This momma needed a word:

“Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.”

(Proverbs 29:11 NLT)

Very calmly, I pushed aside my plate and sent all the kids away.  Then I could clean up the mess in private so they wouldn’t see the steam spraying from my ears.  Crisis avoided.  Later that night we joked that from this point forward, Autumn would only be allowed to use plastic.

Fast forward to the following morning, as if a part of some deep conspiracy, all five of my children were in a mood…or maybe it was just me, who knows.  Isabella woke up with a list of demands, screaming at the fridge, “I want apple juice!”  Too bad kiddo, I already poured milk.

We went tearing out the front door, late of course.  I managed to get the older 3 to school without too much drama.  I was unbuckling my girls and my bonus baby, (I babysit), when Isabella’s face started to scrunch up.  “Bella, you ok?”  Too late.  Like a seen from The Exorcist, she threw-up her entire cup of milk.  On me, all over her and across the entire back section of my Suburban.  Nice.  I could almost hear her saying, “I told you so” as thoughts of her request for juice instead of milk ran through my head.

Straight to the tub, clothes and all, while I call a friend in for back-up to run big sister to preschool.  Nearly two hours later, we’re both fresh & clean, the car is airing out, the washing machine is working in overdrive.  All is right with the world once more.

The moral of this story, ain’t no use crying over broken china, spilt milk or in my case…spewed milk.  Shooting off into orbit when life’s MANY annoyances come your way will only make this journey more painful for you and everyone around you.  Try to stay focused on the positive and when that doesn’t work, I have found that a nice long scream into the nearest pillow works wonders.