If you grew up with a sibling of the opposite sex, then you are familiar with the term double standard. My brother is 7 years younger than me, so I was out of the teen years before he even got started. I remember on several occasions saying things to my mom like, “you would never have let me do that!” She would say, “it’s different with boys. It’s not fair, but it is true.” Not cool, Mom, not cool. Evan got to go places I was never allowed to go, stay out later and have a little less supervision when we traveled. As I got older, my momma explained to me that she never had to worry that someone would snatch Evan…and if they did, they’d bring him back, (sorry Ev, but she was right). There was no danger of him turning up pregnant. There was no worry in the clothes he wore drawing the wrong kind of attention. Now that I have kids of my own, I understand what she meant. What I don’t understand is what we are teaching our children when we as adults have a different set of rules depending on gender.
Why is it that certain behaviors and actions are considered okay for women but detestable when the same things are done by men OR vice versa? I have listed just a few instances where gender may play a part in determining right from wrong.
A group of friends hits the strip club or hires a “private dancer” for a special occasion. Ladies participate and it’s all in good fun. Guys do it, and they are pigs for viewing naked women as entertainment. The same can be said for “non-live” versions of the same entertainment, (including reading materials & movie choices).
Mom and Dad are divorced: Mom has custody & Dad’s not paying child support and the courts throw the book at him regardless of why he’s holding out. Switch the scenario and Momma is the one neglecting to support her kids and all her lame excuses are accepted without batting an eye.
How about the young people in your life using “potty language?” You overhear a group of boys talking trash and it’s just boys being boys. Now let’s say it is pretty little girls saying the exact same things, they’re said to have poor upbringing.
Double Standards. The urban dictionary defines it as “When a situation is desirable for one group but deplorable for another.” I would like to present the challenge that wrong is just wrong. It doesn’t differentiate between genders. If it’s unacceptable behavior for one, then it’s equally unacceptable for the other. What worries me is that our generation seems to be blurring the lines. We use the fact that so-and-so is doing it so it must be okay for us to do it too.
“But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people. …”
Don’t allow the fact that we are living in a different day & age affect your moral standards. Don’t attempt to justify certain behaviors because “everyone else is doing it”…what would your momma say?! Don’t sit back and accept things simply because society tells you it’s okay. Stand up for good and live righteously with the help of the Holy Spirit. And when it comes to making choices, especially ones prone to the old double standard, ask yourself two questions:
- How would I feel if my husband/wife or son/daughter did this? I say this because chances are, if you’re doing it, they will too because you won’t have a leg to stand on to tell them not to.
- Would I do or say this if Jesus were standing right in front of me? I’m going to let you in on a little secret….He is standing right there watching you and He hears every word you say & every thought you think.