Peace of My Heart

An encouraging voice to drown out the noise

~I Don’t Have Time~ August 12, 2015

Filed under: Uncategorized — Valerie Rutledge @ 10:01 am
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fog(Anyone else freak out when you let this sink in?!)

I don’t know if I’m super sensitive right now because our oldest just started high school and I came to the sudden realization that we only have 4 more years with him, but I’m struggling with the amount of time we actually spend together as a family.

I am blessed to be a stay-at-home mom so I do get more time with my children than most. What bothers me is how our days are filled. My kids attend public school so their day starts early, up at 6:45. We rush around packing lunches, getting showers and stuffing backpacks…not my idea of quality time as most days this puts everyone in a foul mood. They spend just over 7 hours in school but it doesn’t end there. One of my kiddos is in band so she is at the school until 5:30, just as I am leaving the house to coach my XC team. Hubs arrives sometime while I’m at practice and eats dinner with 4 of the 5 kids. Runner boy and I shovel it in sometime after 7 depending on how long practice went. The littles have to crash at 8:30 or there is NO getting them up the next day. A quick math problem reveals we spend approximately one hour each weekday together when school is in session. Are you kidding me?!

One would think that weekends would be better, one would be wrong. Saturdays will become filled with invitational meets & band competitions that will cause us to divide and conquer. Sunday we’ll ride to church together, but quickly separate to go to our designated classes. After several hours there, we’ll grab lunch and crash from the exhaustion of the week, maybe a family movie after naptime….hold up, momma forgot she’s low on lunch supplies for the school week so to the grocery I go instead of relaxing with my family!

Y’all, time is fleeting and it scares me to think of how little we are investing into the family that we’ve been blessed with! I am terrified that one day down the road I will wake up to an empty house and broken heart over the number of hours I spent away from the people who mean everything to me! So what do we do?!

“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” (Prov 90:12 ESV)

To me this means taking a quick inventory of what is necessary and what needs to go. Determine your priorities and start eliminating things you do simply out of obligation or because it’s what is expected of you, (or your tribe). There is no glorification in having an overcrowded schedule. You and I will not receive praise for making sure that our family calendar is packed full of clubs, sports, volunteer assignments, etc, etc, etc. I am NOT suggesting that we all become hermits, quitting every activity that means we have to go our separate ways for a time. What I am proposing is that we don’t become so focused on our “to do” list that we spend our days rushing through this one life we are given. I’m so tired of having to say the words “we don’t have time” to my husband and kids. If we have reached the point where we no longer have time for each other, then we are doing something wrong.

Like I said, maybe it’s just me dealing with having a high schooler and the thought that my “baby” starts big kid school next year, but I can’t shake the feeling that my time could be better spent when it comes to my circus and my monkeys. Sending my kids back to school this week was not a relief, it was hard. I know I sound like I’m complaining, and I guess in a way, I am. I have become increasingly jealous of our time. Anyone out there face this same struggle and have some words of wisdom to hand down to young momma’s everywhere dealing with these feelings?

 (I should have warned you all that this was not my most inspirational post ever written…sorry!)

~Super-Mom, I am not~ August 6, 2013

I have recently started to work a part-time job outside of the home.  This has proved to be a bit challenging for someone who has been a stay-at-home mom for nearly 5 years where my only other job was babysitting full-time.  While I am grateful for the opportunity to help provide for my family, I find myself getting increasingly agitated when I have to rely on someone else to help me get them here, there and everywhere.  If I miss an opportunity to do something with them and someone else steps in, I get jealous.  (insert pouty face here)  And I’ve had to reduce the amount of blogs I post due to the madness that has become my life.

Compounding the problem is the fact that I have two boys playing football on separate teams, a daughter cheerleading & singing on the praise team at church and one of my football playing boys is also running cross country.  Today I saw our first conflict.  One Saturday this month, Peyton has a race @ 8am, Isaiah has 2 games @ 9 & 11 and Peyton has a game @ 12….and guess what?!  They are all in different locations, like 30-45 minutes away from each other!  This is where my control freak tendencies go into overdrive.  I can’t possibly be at all four events so surely the world is going to come to an end.  After all, it is not possible for my boys to function without their momma present.

If someone could kindly pass the scissors, I will cut the apron strings.

The problem is I get so riddled with guilt when I feel like I am failing my kids, but there is one of me and like 100 of them (this is only a slight exaggeration).  So this is where I have to remind myself that there is no way on earth that I could possibly do it all.  While I would like to think of myself as super-mom, it isn’t possible for me to be in two places at once and I don’t think my husband would be on board with cloning.

I had to tell my kids that I wouldn’t be able to be at each event they participated in that day, that Daddy and I would have to divide and conquer.  Their response, “NOOOO, we can’t do it without you there to tell us how awesome we are!!”  Totally kidding.  I believe it went a little more like, “OK.”  It would appear that my kid’s expectations of me aren’t nearly as out of this world as the ones I place on myself.

The point is, as parents we can seriously stress ourselves out trying to do and be everything for our kids to the extent that it becomes detrimental to us and our families.  We get so wound up that it causes us to be short-tempered with the very people that we’re trying to please. Our worries and anxieties that we aren’t doing this parenting thing good enough make us crazy!  But Scripture tells us that we don’t add any time to our lives by worrying.  I can fret all day about what I can’t do for my kids and miss out on doing what I can do.

So I commit today to make Matthew 6:34 my mantra:

“Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Rather than spend all of my precious time stressing over our hectic schedule in the coming days and weeks, I choose to give my attention to what God has for us on this day.

This is what the coat rack looks like when my mom friends gather.

This is what the coat rack looks like when my mom friends gather.