Peace of My Heart

An encouraging voice to drown out the noise

~Don’t be a Swinging Door~ April 1, 2014

We recently completed a six week study of the Song of Solomon during our Sunday morning services.  It was a powerful string of messages that elaborated on the many facets of the “Love Story,” as our pastor adequately titled the sermon series.

The final message was on lasting love.  Isn’t that what we all desire, a love that withstands the test of time and all the junk that comes with it?  Ladies, don’t you crave a relationship that uplifts, nourishes and endures?  I would venture to say that not one of us would choose to be the other half of a twosome that tears down, destroys and falls to pieces at the first sign of fleeting bliss.

One little statement was like a clanging gong in my ears and that is what I would like to elaborate on today:

  • Girls, don’t be a swinging door.

I have not shared very much of my past because it’s under the blood.  However, I do feel that sharing of oneself opens the door for others to see what a hot mess you used to be before Jesus and see that there is hope when they look at where you are now, after Jesus.

So here goes nothing.

I was not a wholesome young lady.  My daddy issues made me think that I had to do whatever, whenever to get and keep a man.  After all, when your own daddy doesn’t want you, there must be something crazy wrong with you, right?  I wasn’t a one-night-stand girl, but I did engage in premarital sex with men that I was involved with.  It still hurts a bit to say that, but again, I’ve been forgiven and redeemed so go ahead and throw your stones if you must, they won’t break this glass.

The day that I finally realized I had it all wrong was when I became involved with my now husband.  He opened my eyes to what it’s like to truly be loved and valued for who I was, not by what I could do for him.  I no longer felt like I had to lower my standards and discard my morals in order to make him want to stay.  It was a condition-less love, what I had always longed to find.

So when pastor shared this Scripture from Solomon, I teared up just a little:

“What will we do for our sister if someone asks to marry her?  If she is a virgin, like a wall, we will protect her with a silver tower.  But if she is promiscuous, like a swinging door, we will block her door with a cedar bar.” (8-9)

This is the young woman’s brothers speaking on her behalf, ready to protect their baby sister’s virtue, if you will.  I couldn’t necessarily relate to the protective older brother, but it made me think of Jamie and how he was man enough to say, “I love you enough to stop you from compromising your worth to satisfy a lustful desire.”  I really hit the jackpot with him.

The problem with today’s young people is the lack of people in their lives teaching them the importance of saving the intimacy for when they are mature, self-confident & married!  When you allow yourself to become one with someone, you are giving away a part of yourself that you will never get back, not ever.  Young people who are feeling the pressure of what this generation claims to be acceptable, take it from someone who did it all wrong, having sex or even other acts of intimacy before you are joined in marriage is damning.  It will mess with your mind, your heart and your very soul for a long, long time.  Girls, you are not junk, you deserve better than to be with one guy this week and cramming your tongue down the throat of another the next, (that’s right, I went there).  If he won’t “date” you without that stipulation, trust me when I say, he isn’t worth the waste of your breath.  Kids now are more sexually charged than I can even understand.  Middle-schoolers are making out in school and having sex….OMG!!!  I really could stroke out just typing those words.  Why do you suppose it is that 12 & 13 year old BABIES are giving away something they should treasure?  My theory, no one has told them what they are worth.  Their self-esteem is based on the opinions of others as opposed to a confidence that comes from within.  No one has made them feel that they are priceless and worthy and should be treated as such.  So in closing, please, allow me….

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.  There is no one who is just like you.  You are so loved by the Lord, that He knows the number of hairs on your head and He sings over you while you sleep.  You are more precious than the most valuable of jewels and your beauty is flawless.  You possess a greatness that isn’t hinged on what someone else says of you.  You are treasured, you are loved and you are priceless.  Stop letting others decrease your worth by using you for what you have to offer them.  Protect your moral integrity and respect yourself.  Don’t lower your standards, set the bar high and the ones who deserve your attention will rise up to meet them.  You are in fact royalty, don’t you think it’s about time you started acting like it?value

 

~My translation of Proverbs 31~ March 13, 2014

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Who can find a competent wife who still has some moral standards intact?  She is a priceless treasure, more valuable than the finest of things.  Her husband can rest assured that he is in good hands for she values honesty and integrity over all else.  Her purpose in the marriage is to bring her husband honor and to add to his life, not diminish it by belittling his authority as the head of the home or putting unrealistic demands on him as a provider.

She is a tireless worker, finding creative ways to meet the needs of her family.  She is a bargain hunter who swaps out hand-me-downs with her friends, clips coupons with a vengeance and knows when every store holds their weekly specials.  Sleeping in is a luxury she rarely allows herself.  Before the kiddos begin to stir, she has lunches packed, school papers signed and a road map for how her day will play out with her to-do list, no servant girls to dole out the chores to in this house.

She looks for ways to add income to her family’s resources, whether it’s at a 9-5 job, as an at-home business owner or by selling items the family no longer needs.  She is resourceful, determined, energetic and optimistic.  It is her goal to see that her dealings are successful without sacrificing time with her family which often means burning the midnight oil to get it all done.

Her hands are never idle as she is constantly preparing meals, typing emails, checking homework, writing proposals, doing laundry, cleaning house and the like.  She is never too busy to help those less fortunate.  She keeps her eyes and ears open to the needs of her community and volunteers her time for fundraisers and committees with goals of bettering the lives of her neighbors.

While she may not be a seamstress like her Ma-Maw was, she doesn’t fear the changing seasons because she knows how to transform a wardrobe from spring to winter on a shoestring budget.  She is a thrifty, money wise kind of girl.

Her husband is well known and liked within  the community.  He serves in the church, has a reputation of a hard worker and is known for his wise counsel.

This precious lady is as strong and unwavering as an oak tree but equally soft and tender at heart.  She walks with her head held high, fully confident in her abilities as a daughter of The King.  She is fearless when she looks to the future, even when her circumstances look bleak, for she knows who holds her in the palm of His hand and she smiles at the security that knowledge brings.  She doesn’t speak out of turn or toss her words around carelessly.  She gives careful thought to the counsel she gives, making certain to always point people to the Truth as opposed to a worldly opinion.  Even in correction, she is kind and loving, making sure that the theme of her speech is the message of Jesus.

Nothing escapes her attention within her home.  She does in fact have eyes in the back of her head, laser point vision and hearing so sensitive that her children wonder if she is superhuman.  The term laziness is a foreign concept to her.  Her backside rarely makes contact with the sofa as she can always think of one more thing that needs to be done.

Her little people think she is without question, the best mom on the planet.  They make her homemade gifts, handwritten cards and give hugs and kisses that melt her momma’s heart.  Her husband sings her praises to anyone who will listen and puts her at the top of his list, second only to the Lord.  “Baby, you are the best there is, we are incredibly lucky to call you ours!”

A beautiful face and a smokin’ hot body may be a nice commodity to some, but one day, gravity is going to kick in and all of that is going to disappear.  But the woman who loves the Lord and serves Him with all that she has will always be found beautiful in the sight of those she loves.  She will be known not for her appearance, but for her servant’s heart that is totally sold out for Jesus….in that she will find her fame and anxiously wait for her reward that is waiting for her when her time on this earth is through.strong woman

This concludes our 31 day reading challenge of the book of Proverbs.  I pray you found it to be a blessing.